You know the old saying, ‘never judge a book by it’s cover’? This is a wonderful sentiment of acceptance but in the real world we have all been guilty of judgement in one fashion or another. Whether it’s a movie, a record or a person’s outward appearance there have been moments in my life when I just snapped to judgement on something.
The good part is that the human mind is a wonderful thing and we have all been given the gift of second chances. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like it but one of the most enduring human qualities is redemption. What is redemption? Well Webster defines it as the act, process, or an instance of redeeming. To redeem is to buy back, to make worthwhile. To change for the better. Isn’t that a lovely thought? Wouldn’t it be nice if we as a collective would spend a little more time changing for the better? I know, easier said than done.
The other day while conversing with a friend of mine about New Year’s resolutions it came up that a good resolution would be to be less judgmental. I remember thinking to myself, ‘wow that is never going to happen!’. Not because he was a bad person, just simply because sometimes we can’t help ourselves. At least he saved himself. He said he would be LESS judgmental rather than STOP being judgmental.
Now just because we can’t STOP being judgmental doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. I remember back in college I went to a concert. I saw Goldfinger and a band called Midtown. At the time I remember being so so on the latter of the two bands. But when the bass player introduced himself to the group I was with I felt a bit of obligation to buy one of their records, Living Well is the Best Revenge. I took it home and the next day put it into my CD player. I don’t even think I made it through half the album before I pulled it out and put in something else. I made a rash judgement about the music because at the time it wasn’t what I was looking for.
Fast forward to about 3 years later. I was down and out. My ex-girlfriend was back in my life and I really wanted things to be better the second time around. For reasons unknown I came across that Midtown record and put it in. I loved it, I opened up my heart and made a decision to enjoy the music. I made a change in my thinking about the album and it is now one of my favorite records. My judgement changed. I wasn’t trying to change it, life just came by and changed it for me. My Ex didn’t change, but at least I had a good record to help me through it.
I think this happens a lot, you jump into a situation and make a choice under pressure, only to reconsider the choice at a later date. And hopefully it isn’t too late to change your mind. When I was a teenager someone told me that one of the most important principles in life is to ‘think before you speak’. Sort of a second chance before you use up the first one. I think it has served me well, but sometimes my mouth gets the best of me and I cast that proverb aside in favor of the blustery and often mean.
I guess what I am trying to say is that everyone is entitled to have certain feelings that they shouldn’t apologize for and at the same time should be allowed to take those feelings into consideration and then reconsider the choices they made. I mean what is life without trial and error?
I know that was a very long post and I am sorry if it made little sense. I just want everyone to remember that we have all made choices that other people haven’t liked, but given time to think about those choices we should be given the chance to make it better.
You can apply the principle to just about anything too. So next time your old lady yells at you for not taking out the trash and you cuss her under your breath, you can take some time to realize that the trash is full of your chicken wings and go give your wife a kiss. Or when your friend sends you an MP3 from yet another seemingly lousy garage band, you can try not to dislike it right away, but give it a few more listens. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and everyone is entitled to change it. Allow for that change and I promise the world will be a better place. Now let’s see what we have been overlooking on a whim and try and do something that will have a redeeming effect on our lives!
